If given the chance to start life over, would you?
Why or why not?
If
given the chance to start life over again, would I? No. I would not like
to live my life over unless I can change or omit certain things and keep some
things I now know and experienced (so I thought).
As I grow in my faith
in God and learn more about his Kingdom and myself, my thinking has elevated to
realize that everything happens for a reason. Although God only wants good for
my life, I had to go through some maturing experiences, testing, and pressing. If
as a child I did not experience picking fresh vegetables and fruits, I would
only know going to the grocery store to buy food. If I didn’t fall and scrape
my knees occasionally, and had minor accidents, I wouldn’t know endurance or that
childish resilience, and neither would I have stories to tell my children of
the scars that show today. If I didn’t spend extensive time to myself, I
would not know how to play alone when friends were too busy to play with me and
mom was busy sewing or cooking. I would not have time for such creative
imagination and desire to start my dreams. If I had the option to start my life
over, I would not have had the years of solo traveling experiences from the age
of five and get to talk to many people of different ages about God. If I were
not abandoned and raised as a foster care child I could not empathize with
others in that category and have the curiosity to know more of God’s agape love.
There would have been a strong possibility that my father would have had custody
of me, and he might not have had a relationship with God that would influence me
to choose and allow the Lord to be the (master Romans14:8- 9; Matthew 23:7 NIV)
of my life. I would not have known that there are consequences for my negative actions.
I would not be the person I am today, not have a lively conscience, I would not
care to measure my ways by a Godly standard, by the words of The Holy
scriptures. I would be a careless individual. I would not have learned how to
be cautious in everything I do due to good and bad experiences. There is no way
of knowing if and when I would have experienced God’s permissive will over the order
of my life’s mishaps. Although the path was not chosen and the perfect time planned
within God’s will for me to have children and marry, yet his permissive will
was extended and experienced at a young age, so I began to learn about love in
a relationship and forgiveness on another level (I became a young grandmother
of 14 children).
Without the presence of
the Holy Spirit in my life,
I would not have learned
and know that God is in control
of all of my decisions,
and he has worked out everything in my life before it began.
He knew everything I would have to face, he saw and
went to the ending of it all before my birth in him, before the earth was
formed, putting things in place for me to trust the process, take his hands,
and make up my mind not to throw in the towel, because I have more rounds of
life’s battles to fight. I learned the terminology of surrendering, vulnerability,
waiting, moaning, groaning, and tightening of the heart muscle to deflect fiery
darts. If I had the option to start my life over, I might not be alive today,
because I would not have survived the bulk of life’s heaviness that weighed me
down early in life, that caused me to consider giving up. I can say, now, after
learning, acknowledging, understanding, and overcoming why I had to go through
the challenges of life, and those experiences, I am so grateful that God guided
me and many times, pulled me through it all. It would take a long time and many
pages to tell of my many experiences and reasons why I would not want to start
my life over again. Although it has not been a perfect life or one that was
always happy, it’s mine and one that God is constantly working on and
improving.
If given the chance to
start life over, would you? Why or why not?
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