GRIEF

 

What is Grief? How Do You Deal With grief? 

(Physical, Emotional, Spiritual)

Grief; deep sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, distress, agony, torment, affliction, suffering, heartache, heartbreak, woe, desolation, despondency, dejection, despair, mourning, bereavement, blues, lamentation, remorse, regret, pining, mortification, dolor, dole, angst.

What the word grieve mean in Hebrew? adab-to languish, grieve; yagah- to grieve, to torment; atsab-to worry, have pain or anger.

What the word grieve mean in Greek? lupeo-to distress; to be sad. 

      When you think of grief, people often think of death, but there are different kinds of grief or different reasons for grief. There is grief over the passing of a loved one, a sick friend or family member, the ending of a relationship, the loss of a job, the loss of something cherished, even one's own illness, and grief over an unfortunate situation.    

        I've experienced the loss of childhood friendships, due to relocating and growing differences of opinions over the years. I've had strong attachments to some of them due to clingy feeling(needy) behavior towards those individuals. I was always pulled away from what was normal as a child and had people leave after promising to always be there(available for or stay with) me. As a teenager I would often spend most of my days alone and separated from friends and family, always crying, grieving one loss after the other. As an adult things were the same. I had to learn that although people come and go out of my life and I feel lonely as an introverted individual, I'm never alone. As I'm writing this passage, I'm pondering over the loss of a family member, whom I heard passed before when I started writing. It's not easy to accept or to know what to say in the moment, to those closest to the one who passed on. Nothing takes away the pain of death that has freshly happened, but as we the family receive words of comfort and encouragement, it often soothes the soul and in time, as we ponder the person's life, especially remembering the things that make us smile, it hurts less.When we have the loss of a loved one, we often spend a long time grieving and feeling sorry that the person or persons have died. We too often stop functioning in our daily task, overeat, or stop eating, some people sink into depression(that can look different, depending on the person). Some people ask God, "Why?" It's ok to remember the loss and feel the sadness for a "time". Jesus' mother and others wailed for him at his crucifixion(Luke 23: 27NIV " A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him.")  After crying, my heart feeling heavy, and needing some comfort, I often think of (Matthew 5:4 NIV "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.") Only God knows why our loved ones pass at the time that they do, one day we will understand too. I also took comfort in various gospel songs that tell of God's love, his comfort, and not walking alone. If you experience this kind of loss or the loss of a relationship, Those are the types of grief that last longer in one's mind, people tend to dwell on them. These two types of loss can consume your life, causing drastic and traumatic changes to one's physical, spiritual, and emotional life, also destroying one's health. It's important to have positive emotional and spiritual support close by, in the form of confidential friends, family members, and a spiritual and trusted church member or leader, to receive encouragement. No one expects you to suddenly forget about your loss and turn off your emotions, but it is important to go through the vital stages as quickly as possible:

1. Denial, numbness, and shock: Disbelief and numbness is a normal reaction to death or a loss,(not meaning to not care).
2. Bargaining: Constantly wondering what could have prevented the loss or death.
3. Depression: Realizing and feeling the full extent of the death or loss.
4. Anger: This is a common stage that occurs when one feels powerless and helpless. It can stem from a feeling of abandonment.
5. Acceptance: One comes to terms with all the emotions and feelings caused by the death or loss.

        Writing is one of the steps I'm currently doing and the aforementioned steps in the previous paragraph, to move forward in my life. I can tell you that it's not easy and only time, plus consulting my God, through his word, I know that I can have complete healing. (Isaiah 41:10 ESV "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.") (Psalm 34:18 ESV "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.")

       Let’s look at grieve(atsab), to anger. Who is on the Lord’s side? God's chosen people rebelled against him by building and worshipping a golden calf in their impatient will. (Exodus 32 NIV) Many died as a result. King David, although a man after God's own heart, out of his human emotions, sent his soldier to death after taking his wife and having a failed attempt to conceal her pregnancy. Because of his position as King, David thought that he was in the right to do as he did (2 Samuel 11-2 NLT).  His first son from Bathsheba died, even though King David asked God for forgiveness and also fasted for the boy to recover from his illness. God was grieved, (angry, not pleased) with the King's actions, so as a result of King David's wicked and willful actions, the boy died, causing his mother to grieve(to mourn). (Ephesians 4:30-31 NIV "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with womb you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.")

      We at times do things we think are right without seeking a clear understanding of the Lord Jesus, nor do we wait for God's timing and decision on different aspects of our lives. We plot and plan things and events as if we have no one to answer to. When our plans fail and things are going or have gone wrong, it's when we turn to God for answers. Our efforts can be in vain if we don't seek the Lord for direction and answers to his will and plan for our lives. (Proverbs 27:2 KJV "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts)." As I push through on my Kingdom journey, I'm reminded(Proverbs 3:6 KJV " In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." I can hear this scripture echoing in my spirit as I go through all of the motions: 

Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."  I'm still learning.

THE PURPOSE OF MY JOURNEY

       

My purpose is to fulfill the expectations of THE KING(Jesus Christ), by obeying his rules, and being identified with him (displaying his character documented in Galatians 5: 22-23, as his representative/ambassador) wherever I go, therefore giving glory to him in what I do and say. I’m also learning and enjoying the perks/blessings of the Kingdom of God while studying and learning how to spread the same message Jesus came to teach. Although not perfect and apt to make mistakes, I'm to learn how to pivot and turn to the King through his word for the answers that will solve issues and correct all mistakes. As I abide in him and he abides in me(John 15:7 AMP If you remain in Me and My words remain in you [that is, if we are vitally united and My message lives in your heart], ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you), I must get better in my understanding of the Kingdom of God and my lifestyle must improve as the Holy Spirit guides me daily until he(Jesus Christ) returns.

First published 12.24.22(9:45 PM) Republished 8.4.24(12:54 AM)

WINTER'S COLD WARM HEART

 Winter's cold: the uncertainty, the hardships we face as we take a look at the past, at particular locations, amongst individuals or groups leading to the present, looking at things that made life uncomfortable(difficult) during specific occasions.

    There were times when life seemed as if it was at a standstill, nothing good seemed to be taking place in my life. Having had that experience, I felt all alone in sadness and I felt unloved. In those times my journey seemed hard and I was often discouraged by my own thoughts, lack, words, and actions of others. At times I felt defeated and isolated physically and mentally, therefore my spiritual life suffered as well. At these times I had no friends or family to turn to for encouragement or help. My immediate family was suffering also. We were surviving by the bare minimum and feeling the sting of failing to move forward to where we needed to be in life for that moment or the future. Religion was all that I knew and that had put a limit on my life(with the message of “Do as I say and don't do as I do”, that was almost always heard or implied).

      Things were escalating all around me, and all seemed very hopeless as if God was not even hearing me when I was praying. Other times it was hard to pray because I couldn't find the words—just the right words to say. I didn't understand why I was looking for perfect words but it seemed like I needed the perfect thing to say to God, when he's not looking for perfection. He is looking for a true heart that will come and speak to him, about the worries and things that weighed me down. Still, I kept waiting and trying to find the right words. All the while, in the back of my mind, I thought my burdens were too much for him and maybe I was just wasting my time because he had so many more people to care for.  Often I thought that my worries and my burdens were trivial in comparison to others and that I was simply just being a burden to God. So, I kept them to myself and It didn't help because. They were there and nothing was being solved. Stress lent a hand to my worries which added sickness and anxiety. This did not occur just once in my life but repeatedly. You see, there are times that we the imperfect people of god, forget that he is always there, ready and waiting to help us. We work ourselves into sickness and sometimes bring ourselves down to rock bottom before reaching out to him. You have to understand that as human beings, with the ability to choose, we often choose to try and fix situations ourselves without knowing where to start, how to, and what do we need to fix things. Therefore, we get to the stage where we're feeling backed up in a corner, and as said, “Caught between a rock and a hard place”. Some of us when just hitting rock bottom, realize right away and recover by crying out to God and others for help. Others don't realize it immediately and struggle for years to recover while being stagnant in their position. As for me, there are times that I feel stuck in the position that I'm in at the time, and I struggle to find my way out. It’s then I realized that there is help if I only reach out. Then, I turned to God and simply said, "Help me! Lord I need help"!

        It's now that I get to the point where I start remembering some gospel songs and hymns that are so soothing and fitting for the situation that I was in, after which, Bible scriptures come to my mind to comfort me, and help me find my way out of being stuck. Such as:

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". 

        I was not presenting and requesting, but worrying and stressing. I found out that there's nothing too hard for God and there's no problem too great that he cannot solve.

 Jeremiah 33:3 NIV says, Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

        I learned through the Bible(the Word of God) that God will answer my prayers, teach me how to handle my situation, and show me things I've never seen or heard of. There were so many things that I didn't understand, that he caused me to understand through reading his word and asking for his wisdom to share and apply to my life and my family. Never misunderstand me, I don't know or understand it all, but I'm learning as I go, how to tap into the source(Christ Jesus) to achieve the benefits of the Kingdom of God, but it starts with understanding what it's all about. There is so much more to know and understand. I learned that it takes a daily prayer life[Thessalonians 5:17 NLV Never stop praying. (AMP-be unceasing and persistent in prayer;) ] and reading the word consistently.

Warm heart: Once you start to learn how to read for the understanding of the word, you will know what to do when troubles and trials come into your life, and things seem overwhelming. There is no greater feeling than the joy that Jesus gives through a song, words of encouragement, and most of all, the word. You can now think clearly and even hear the still small voice of the Lord, guiding you out of your troubling situations, out of that corner you are stuck in. 

Side Note: Sometimes the Lord will send help without you lifting a finger or saying a word because he knows your heart and he sees its posture(what you are thinking, deep into your spirit). 

Stay faithful! Keep your heart warm.