FRIEND OR FOE?

 FRIEND OR FOE?

Who is a friend? A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. Typically, exclusive of sexual or family relations. A person who is not an enemy or who is on the same side. Or we can just say; A person who has a strong liking for and trust in another: Oxford Dictionary

 Do you value friendships or are they expendable? What are the criteria that you’ve set for friendship? Do you have a list of Do’s and Don’ts? What are your red flags of friendship? Does your friend have to be in complete agreement with you all the time? Do you have to have all things in common? Are you always giving while your friend is always taking from your substance(emotions, time, etc), or are you the one always taking?

Friendship, “It is almost always Characterized by companionship and shared activities. In fact, one of the primary goals and motivations of friendship is companionship. In addition, adolescent and adult friendships often perform other functions, such as serving as sources of emotional support and providing opportunities for self. Disclosure and intimacy.” Written by. Lisa Hohmann, Lauren Berger, Wyndol Furman.

Proverbs 18: 24 NLT reminds us that: There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend, “Sticks closer than a brother”. Proverbs 17:17NIV Says that: A friend, “loves at all times”, and the brother is born for a time of adversity.

This is my friend, co-worker, and Kingdom sister, Tracy. We share some similar interests, and work ethics, and have some similar goals, especially Kingdom-wise. I value our friendship. Our relationship is not based on how we spend our time individually or who we spend personal time with. We just enjoy being friends and sharing life’s ups and downs, also encouraging each other. There are no set conditions (expectations realistic or otherwise) and there’s a mutual understanding of wanting the best for and strengthening each other in prayer as well as conversation.  Our past, family culture, education, age, or ethnic background are not conditions of our friendship.  There is a beam of delight when we see each other, and we just go with that. Some friends are more like family than some biological family members are.

A friend may not tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear, and give you helpful advice to reach your goals and be happy. They give support instead of abandoning or betraying you. I  have other friends who live far away but are still reliable, good friends. I just wanted to tell you about this one.

Foe: One who has personal enmity(hatred, animosity, hostility) for another; An enemy in war,  adversary, opponent, a political foe; One who opposes on principle. Miriam- Webster.

How does a person identify their enemy?

1.       1. Enemies engage in destructive criticism-always tries to tear you down

2.      2. Enemies spread gossip about you-try to hurt you by turning others against you

3.       3. Enemies sabotage your path to success-try to hold you back when it doesn’t help them

4.       4. Enemies may show defensive body language-may turn or lean away from you, distance and defend themselves from you. Use this with other clues, as the person could be shy.

5.       5. Enemies may go to other extreme-might move defensively with anger or with aggression

6.      6.  Enemies try to beat you at your own game- aim to gain a foothold and overtake you before you realize it.

7.       7. Enemies lie about who they truly are-involves creating a fake persona, pretending to be a friend

8.       8. Enemies have unconditional antagonism toward you-they are always working against your interest(there may be jealousy, a desire for vengeance, psychological issues etc; you might not figure out exactly why they are your enemy and they sometimes don’t even understand why.

9.       9. Enemies are needy, jealous, and selfish- toxic friendship. Not all enemies intend to be your enemy, they might be self-centered that they don’t see or care how their friendship hurts you. 

      *they crave your attention but don’t show any to you

*they are jealous of any other friendships you might have

*they’re hypocritical, holding themselves to a different standard than you.

10. Enemies don’t support you as true friends do; by Kim Chronister, PsyD and Christopher M. Osborne,PhD

           So now that you know what it means to be a friend, and you understand the difference between a friend and a foe, who is your friend? Do you know that Jesus calls us his friend? Are you a friend of God? Do you understand what that means? Let me leave you with a little homework, where you can research for yourself about being in friendship with Jesus and I'll get into my experiences on that topic another time. (John 15:13; Matthew 28:20; John 15:15; James 2:23 ESV) (Exodus 33:11 NIV)

[The phrase” a friend in need is a friend indeed.” by the Greek philosopher Ennius in the 3rd century BC]. It means: A friend who helps you when you really need help is a true friend. Now seek a friend before you really need a friend and be a true friend as well.

                                                                    Be blessed and be a blessing!